Last night I went out with some girlfriends. We had a couple of drinks and shared crazy stories. We laughed, at some point so hard, I almost cried. Looking back at that moment, I realize it had only been 24 hours since I had locked myself in my room to shed a different type of tear.
Friday afternoon was one terribly bad afternoon. Nothing of different consequence happened that day. Actually, quite the opposite, it was just the same frustrations and they had finally gotten the better of me. So after a disastrous shopping trip, I shoved in earbuds to drown out the rest of the world, clinging desperately to 33 Miles as they told me to ‘hold on’…
I write so much about hope and happiness and positivity, but for that one fraction of a moment, I was completely removed from all of those things. Even when I fill my head and heart with positivity on a constant basis, the dark negatives are always lurking in shadows, ready to steal my light. These are the unhappy moments, the ones that try to trod on my overall joy. In my moment of weakness, I was inspired to talk about how it is OK to surrender sometimes.
Disappointments happen. Ruined plans, bad days, life changing obstacles are all things that we have to experience and they happen to everyone. There were many times when I would have a minor crisis over something as seemingly insignificant as spilled milk on a clean floor. For me, it’s not just about the spilled milk, but I would let guilt consume me. I thought I had no business taking anything in life for granted, even the bad experiences. At some point, I realized that it was alright to be sad or angry or disappointed. It was alright to cry over those things, to give myself enough time to release them so I could move on.
Even if you don’t believe your problems are worthy of complaint, allow yourself to feel something for them, then let them go. No one can ever tell you the value of a bad experience, it’s all personal and it’s all handled differently depending on the person. The purpose isn’t to dwell on issues that cause you pain, it is to acknowledge that they happen and then know that you are strong enough to climb any mountain.
It can be so easy to break us. I fight a daily battle, one in which I struggle not to surrender to every negative emotion that sneaks into my heart throughout the day. It is in the fight that I tend to find my greatest strength. Always looking for sunshine, even on the rainy days, is not an easy journey and keeping my soul awakened to all that is positive is an ongoing war. The point of it is to humble us, to make us fully aware of the frailty that is our human spirit, so that we may fight to keep the good alive in us. The greatest victory we can have is letting go of what troubles us, so that we may relish in the things that don’t.